Atheist memes #5

Another collection of memes from Pinterest, because who doesn’t like memes?

https://www.facebook.com/WFLAtheism:

Religious believers are generally very poor at logical thinking especially when…:

I've never understood the Creationist assertion that it takes "faith" to "believe" in evolution.  Faith is something you have in the unproven or unprovable.:

❥V͓̽i͓̽o͓̽l͓̽e͓̽t͓̽t͓̽a͓̽O͓̽p͓̽h͓̽e͓̽l͓̽i͓̽a͓̽❥:

☹ ριитєяєѕт : ѕωχяи-ιи ☹                                                                                                                                                     More:

Atheism = Peacehttp://proud-atheist.tumblr.com #Agnosticism:

Yeah, WE are taking it out of context... :D - http://holesinthefoam.us/bible-outofcontext/:

Quote by Michael Sherlock.    Christians like to try and dissolve their guilt regarding the atrocity of Hell with the idea that "God doesn't send people to Hell, People send themselves there by refusing salvation."  That kind of "option" is not really an option.  It's entrapment and terrorism.  Many people can not ethically accept that.  It's not a choice... HMJ:

Atheist In The Bible Belt:

But back then it was okay...and it's still okay (to people who believe in the bible and God), but only for Abraham, cause he's in the bible. Anybody else who does that now will get the death penalty or go to a mental institution. That's quite the odd double standard.:

 

As usual, all of these pins and more can be found here.

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The New Bible – Exodus 34

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The Israelites are eager to continue on towards the Holy Land, but first Moses and God must recreate the stone tablets that Moses smashed in a temper tantrum.

  1. “You must chisel out some new tablets, and meet me on mount Sinai,” God commanded, “But no-one is to come with you or see me.”

2. “But why? Aren’t you actively working to keep yourself hidden?” Moses asked.

3. “I work in mysterious ways, remember. Besides, I like it when people disobey me so I can show off my power by punishing them. So shut the hell up and do as I say.” God replied angrily.

4. So Moses brought the two newly carved tablets up to mount Sinai for God to inscribe, and God made a covenant with Moses, which surprisingly didn’t include any weird rituals or burning dead animals.

5. “I will go with your people, and drive out your enemies before you,” God said, as much as his promises were worth, “Just make sure you follow my terms and conditions. Read them carefully, then click ‘agree’. You must not be friends with the people in the lands that I have given you, because they are barbarians and sacrifice to their gods, instead of to me.

6. You must also destroy their altars and places of worship, and never worship their gods, because I am a jealous god, if you hadn’t noticed already.

7. You must sacrifice the firstborn animals to me, and give me your firstborn sons. You must also celebrate my festivals, and remember the sabbath.

8. Remember that I hate nothing more than yeast, so don’t take it anywhere near my altars, and most importantly, and listen carefully because this is really important: Never boil a goat in it’s mother’s milk. That’s just messed up.”

9. Moses agreed to the terms and conditions, and the covenant was made. He then spent another 40 days and 40 nights up on top of the mountain, before returning to the Israelites with the new tablet. Let’s hope he doesn’t smash these too.

10. Now apparently speaking to God makes people’s faces glow. Moses came down the mountain and his face was radiant, and the Israelites, like the superstitious people they were, didn’t want to come near him. So Moses had to put a veil over his face in order not to freak anyone out. A bit weird, I know.

The New Bible homepage can be found here.

Image courtesy of vectorolie at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

 

Anti-science advocacy

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As I have made quite clear over the course of this blog, particularly in my older posts, I am vehemently opposed to creationism, and it’s constant need to discredit, undermine and devalue science and the scientific method. And I’m sure you can imagine my horror as I stumbled across another example of this anti-science attitude just the other day – coming from a liberal student in a university!

This liberal university student argues that we need to ‘decolonize’ science, and basically abolish it completely.

I hope that you’re as shocked and appalled as I am.

Basically the argument is that African witch doctors can apparently ‘curse’ people, causing lighting to strike them, and it (obviously) cannot be scientifically proven. So, obviously, the scientific method is at fault, not the fact that black magic doesn’t exist.

And when a student points out that black magic does not in fact exist, he is told to apologize or leave the room because they are in a ‘safe space’ and it can’t be made ‘antagonistic’.

This is quite interesting really, and further proof of the horseshoe theory. There are crazy anti-science advocates on the right, in the form of creationists, and now we have crazy anti-science advocates on the left too.

I guess it just goes to show, stupidity comes in all flavors! Although I think we all knew that already.

Watch the video of this here:

http://reason.com/blog/2016/10/14/watch-leftist-students-say-science-is-ra

Image courtesy of Stuart Miles at FreeDigtialPhotos.net

The New Bible – Exodus 32-33

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Moses had just had a temper tantrum, and the Israelites were dangerously close to complete obliteration from God, all for making a golden calf and worshiping it.

  1. In order to appease God, Moses said to the Levites who were following him: “Each man grab a sword and go through the camp, killing people. That’ll teach the Israelites a lesson!”

2. So the Levites did as Moses had commanded, and three thousand people were killed.

3. And Moses apologized on behalf of the Israelites to God, and he said, “I will blot out all of the people who have sinned against me from my book.”

4. Except that he didn’t blot them out, because otherwise we wouldn’t know this whole thing happened.

5. But God STILL wasn’t finished punishing the Israelites – he threw a plague at them for good measure. And God spoke to Moses once more,

6. “Now leave this place, and go to the Holy Land. I will send an angel ahead of you to wipe out all the people who stand in our way, because that’s just what I like to do,” God said, “But I will not be stalking you this time, because quite frankly you lot are so annoying I might just lose my temper and kill you all.”

7. The Israelites heard this and were distressed, but Moses reassured them, “Don’t worry, as long as you stay out of his way and worship him then he won’t kill you, because that’s how God’s love works.”

8. Moses then had the Israelites build a special meeting tent outside of the camp, where he and God could go and chat over a cup of tea. The Israelites worshiped near the tent whenever one of these tea parties happened, and quite frankly I think God was enjoying the attention.

9. It was during one of these meetings that Moses asked an important question. “How will we know when you are pleased with us if you do not come with us? And how will our enemies know that we are the chosen people? What will distinguish us from all of the other people on the earth?” Moses asked.

10. “Hmm… I never thought of that,” God said, “I guess I’ll have to come with you after all. In fact, I’ll even show myself to the rest of you, but only my back, because nobody can see my face and live for some reason that I’ve not yet come up with.”

The New Bible homepage can be found here.

Image courtesy of vectorolie at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

 

The New Bible – Exodus 25-31

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Moses takes a break from writing down rules and making laws to build some furniture. How exciting! Moses’ anger management issues also start to show. This chapter also contains part of Exodus 32.

  1. God said to Moses: “Order the Israelites to build me a tabernacle, because I feel like burning meat is getting a little repetitive. I know you probably have better things to do, like a Holy Land to travel to, but I want to see some furniture.”

2. God continued, “It shall be made of gold and silver, with the finest of all materials you have at your disposal. Because we all know that money and worldly possessions are the root of all evil, so it’s better I take it all from you!”

3. The next five chapters are about God explaining in detail how to make everything, and exactly what to make it of. Moses got bored and fell asleep halfway through, and to save you the same fate let’s just skip this part.

4. “Now,” God said, “You must keep my covenant, and part of that is keeping the Sabbath holy. You must not work on the seventh day – you are to all sit around and do nothing, and let the whole place come to a standstill. Anyone who breaks this rule must be killed.”

5. “Whoa, God, isn’t that a bit harsh?” Moses asked. “I, the loving God, work in mysterious ways. So shut the hell up and do as you’re told!” The Lord replied.

6. When all of this was finished Moses set off back down mount Sinai, with the tablets in his arms and a notebook with all of God’s furniture-building manuals.

7. In the meantime the Egyptians had quickly forgotten the God – whose existence is supposed to be obvious – to worship an idol in the shape of a calf. Moses and the Lord saw this, and God was pissed.

8. “Let me destroy them completely and punish them for what they have done” God said, but Moses somehow convinced him otherwise.

9. “Do not punish them, otherwise all of this would have been in vain. Remember your promise to Abraham, and Isaac, and Jacob, and Joshua, and me…” Moses said, and God somehow let them off the hook.

10. But when Moses saw the Israelites and their calf up close, he was so furious he threw the tablets at the ground in a temper-tantrum. Bit of a stupid idea considering he just spent 40 days up a mountain in order to get them, I know.

Will Moses’ anger burn against the Israelites? Will God decide to just kill everyone and start over? Find out in the next episode of Dragonball Z… I mean the New Bible!

The New Bible homepage can be found here.

Image courtesy of vectorolie at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

The New Bible – Exodus 24

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God confirms the covenant with Moses that he is to drive out all of their enemies simply because they’re in the wrong place at the wrong time.

  1. God said to the Israelites: “You are all to worship at a distance, and Moses alone is to approach me. Why? You ask, well, you know how I like playing games and making sure that there’s no solid evidence of my existence.”

2. So Moses wrote down all of the laws that he and God had given the Israelites, and he made an altar the next morning, with twelve pillars around it to represent the tribes of Israel.

3. Then he slaughtered some innocent bulls and burnt them at the altar, because God likes that for some reason. He also collected the blood and splashed it at the base of the altar, another thing this strange and sick God enjoys.

4. He then got some more blood, and threw it at his people. God’s covenant rituals are very odd, aren’t they?

5. The seventy elders of Israel went out with Moses and saw God strolling along, walking along a pavement made of lapis lazuli – who knows how it got there in the first place.

6. And God demonstrated what a kind and loving God he was by deciding not to kill them all for looking at him. Maybe he’s just shy.

7. And it was time for the Ten Commandments to be made. God told Moses to follow him up the mountain, and Moses, who had to be an old man by this point, climbed up after him.

8. A cloud descended upon the mountain, and Moses stayed up there for 40 days and 40 nights, with no food or water.

 

The New Bible homepage can be found here.

Image courtesy of vectorolie at FreeDigitalPhotos.net