Does God have multiple personality disorder?

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Okay, so this is one of my less serious posts, like ‘Jesus was an ugly baby!‘, but there might be an interpretation of the Bible which supports the idea that God is not quite right in the head. Well, on second thoughts… God has fully supported killing people, so he’s already a psychopath.

According to most Christian denominations, Jesus, God and the Holy Spirit are both three people and one person. There are verses in the Bible that support this, but are somewhat flimsy evidence, such as 1 John 5:7 “For there are three that bear record in heaven, the Father, the Word, and the Holy Ghost: and these three are one.” And there was some summit back in the 15th century where Catholics decided that God, Jesus and the Holy Spirit were all the same person. But I don’t know all the details.

So it’s pretty clear that somehow God, Jesus and the Holy Spirit are one guy whilst also being three guys, so are Jesus and the Holy Spirit just God’s alternate personalities? If so, God probably has multiple personality disorder. Why? We can see this by comparing his actions to the actions of Jesus.

God: “The people of Samaria must bear their guilt, because they have rebelled against their God. They will fall by the sword; their little ones will be dashed to the ground, their pregnant women ripped open.” Hosea 16:13

Jesus: A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.” John 13:34

God: “Now go, attack the Amalekites and totally destroy all that belongs to them. Do not spare them; put to death men and women, children and infants, cattle and sheep, camels and donkeys.'” 1 Samuel 15:3

Jesus: You have heard that it was said, ‘Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be children of your Father in heaven.” Matthew 5:43-45

God: “And while the children of Israel were in the wilderness, they found a man that gathered sticks upon the sabbath day. And they that found him gathering sticks brought him unto Moses and Aaron, and unto all the congregation. And they put him in ward, because it was not declared what should be done to him. And the Lord said unto Moses, The man shall be surely put to death: all the congregation shall stone him with stones without the camp. And all the congregation brought him without the camp, and stoned him with stones, and he died; as the Lord commanded Moses.”  Numbers 15:32-36

Jesus: “So when they continued asking him, he lifted up himself, and said unto them, He that is without sin among you, let him first cast a stone at her.” John 8:7

God: Then he said to them, “This is what the Lord, the God of Israel, says: ‘Each man strap a sword to his side. Go back and forth through the camp from one end to the other, each killing his brother and friend and neighbor.’”  The Levites did as Moses commanded, and that day about three thousand of the people died.”  Exodus 32:27-28

Jesus: “Give to everyone who asks you, and if anyone takes what belongs to you, do not demand it back.” Luke 6:30

God:  When the three hundred trumpets sounded, the Lord caused the men throughout the camp to turn on each other with their swords. The army fled to Beth Shittah toward Zererah as far as the border of Abel Meholahnear Tabbath.” Judges 7:22

For a full list check out my post, ‘Death count in the Bible‘.

There are a few exceptions, like when Jesus said he came to bring a sword and turn people against each other, and that he wanted to watch the world burn, but we can see a general trend here. God is a dangerous, unpredictable being who advocates slaughter, Jesus is pretty much the opposite. God and Jesus act completely differently, and if they’re supposed to be the same person, there is a bit of an issue with consistency.

While we’re talking about God and his questionable characteristics, we can see that he also has an obsession with the number 7. Not only does he provide very strict instructions in Exodus and Leviticus about how many times to do certain things, but we have crazy documents like this that show God’s obsessions. God also likes other numbers, like 12, 10 and 3.

Image courtesy of artur84 at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

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6 thoughts on “Does God have multiple personality disorder?

  1. the ghost is indeed awfully quiet. Most Christians can’t agree on what the third party actually is or where it was when (aka in Jesus, part of Jesus, etc). It’s one of the weirder bits of the bible that the only unforgivable sin is blasphemy against the holy ghost. what this blasphemy consists of, there doesn’t seem to be an answer. the bible only says that JC is getting upset because they say he has an “impure spirit”.

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  2. It’s pretty well agreed that that segment of I John 5:7-8 was a much later addition. It doesn’t exist in any of the ancient Greek manuscripts, and it wasn’t added into any of the major compilations until the third edition of the Textus Receptus (16th century). Funny how the only explicit mention of the trinity was deliberately inserted by the Catholic church.

    That said, wouldn’t it have been a better story if Jesus had simply said, “Hey, I know my dad’s been dick, but I’ve got a better idea.”

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  3. I’ve thought about this, too. It’s interesting how they’re supposed to be one, but their behaviors do not match up very well. Jesus wanted his followers to be one like he and the father are one (John 17:22). Maybe that’s why there are so many denominations?

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      • True. Plenty of things just aren’t clear as well. There are debates on so many topics. Hell, the Bible (word of God or man), Sabbath, pre-trib, post-trib, LGBT (fine or wicked), Whether one can lose salvation or not, women wearing head coverings, etc. Some people even forbid having TVs in the home. It’s way too vague. There wouldn’t be so much debate and splitting if the Bible had everything plainly written out. If the Christian God is real, then he would have known that this would happen. He could have made the Bible clear so people would have agreement and unity. He could have also told everyone the same thing. If every Christian is hearing God, wouldn’t they all believe the same thing? Christianity can be confusing because they go by a really confusing book.

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