The New Bible – Genesis 50


The book of Genesis concludes with Joseph burying his father and dying. Everyone seems to be dropping off like flies.

  1. So Jacob died, and Joseph had him embalmed, which took a full forty days. And the Egyptians then spent more than two months mourning him.

2. When the days of mourning passed Joseph took some of his men and headed north, to bury his father in the land of Caanan.

3. Luckily they had embalmed Jacob, or he would have really started to smell.

4. All of the pharaohs officials went up with him, along with his brothers and many horsemen. They had taken a small army.

5. Once they reached the land of Canaan they all spent another seven days mourning, and when the Canaanites saw them, they renamed the place to Abel Mizraim. You know, as you do.

6. When they were finished burying Jacob they returned to Egypt, and Joseph’s brothers were worried that Joseph was going to kill them as payback for what they had done to him now that Jacob was out of the picture.

7. So they did a little classic Biblical trickery. They sent word to Joseph, saying that their father had ordered him to forgive them, and Joseph bought it without a second thought.

8. Soon it was time for Joseph to die. He was 110 years old – maybe God was keeping his 120 year rule after all.

9. He said to his brothers, “Surely God will come to your aid and take you to the promised land. You know, the one he promised to Abraham… and Isaac… and Jacob… And me… in fact, never mind.”

10. “Just make sure I am buried with my father in the land of Canaan.”

The New Bible homepage can be found here.

Image courtesy of vectorolie at


3 thoughts on “The New Bible – Genesis 50

  1. hmmm, so does this mean we should be able to find a Jacob mummy somewhere? for a civilization that supposedly was god approved, these Israelites haven’t contributed a single useful thing, even borrowing the funeral rites of another group of people.

    Liked by 1 person

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