The New Bible – Genesis 39


God stalks Joseph as he lives as a slave after his brothers sold him for being annoying, and he doesn’t even interfere when Joseph is wrongly accused and sent to prison for a crime he didn’t commit.

  1. Joseph ended up in Egypt, where he was bought by the captain of the guard, who was one of the Pharaoh’s officials.

2. The Lord was ‘with’ Joseph, silently judging everyone as he lived in his owner’s house. Joseph prospered, and God took credit for this.

3. When his master saw that the Lord was with Joseph he made him his attendant, and put him in charge of everything that he owned.

4. Because Joseph was now in charge the Lord blessed his masters stuff, and his master did not concern himself with anything except the food he ate.

5. Now Joseph was well-built and handsome, and after a while his master’s wife took notice of Joseph and said, “Come to bed with me!”

6. Joseph refused, worried that God was watching. His master’s wife persisted, but he continued to refuse.

7. After another attempt by his master’s wife, Joseph fled from the house, leaving his cloak behind.

8. When she saw that he had left his cloak, she used it as ‘evidence’ and falsely accused Joseph of sleeping with her.

9. God must have been busy stalking someone else when it happened, perhaps forgetting that he was omniscient, because without bothering to hear Joseph’s side of the story he threw him into a prison.

10. Apparently the Lord was with Joseph as he was in prison, and although he never bothered to intervene and tell everyone that Joseph was innocent, he blessed Joseph so that he found favor in the prison guard’s eyes.

11. Basically God is good at mind-control.

12. So the warden put Joseph in charge of all of the prisoners, and he paid no attention to anything that Joseph did, because the Lord was with him.

The New Bible homepage can be found here.

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