The New Bible – Genesis 24


God still hasn’t gotten around to giving Abraham that land he was promised.

  1. So Abraham was old, and stricken with age, the Lord blessed him, but he still wasn’t giving him any land.

2. Abraham said to his oldest servant (i.e. slave),

3. “Swear to me that you will not go and find a wife for Isaac in the land of the Canaanites,

4. instead go to my country, and find one out of my people.”

5. And the servant replied, “What if they are not willing to follow me here? Should I take Isaac with me?”

6. And Abraham said, “No, God said that he will send some help if anything happens. But do not take Isaac with you, because… reasons”

7. So the servant swore an oath to Abraham and the Lord, and he left, taking with him ten camels.

8. The servant made his way out to the town of Nahor, and went to go and water all of his camels at the well.

9. And he prayed to the Lord, saying, “The people of the town will be coming out to gather water soon, and I’m gonna need a sign to tell me which is the right one”

10. And the Lord replied, “Do I have to do EVERYTHING around here!? Fine, what sort of sign do you want?”

11. The servant replied, “When the daughters of the town come out, let it be that the one who waters my camels is the one that has been chosen for Isaac”

12. And before he had done speaking, standing there, talking to himself, Rebekah came out, who was born to Bethuel, son of Milcah, the wife of Nahor, Abraham’s brother, with her pitcher upon her shoulder.

13. She watered his camels, and the servant wondered if God had kept his word for once.

14. The servant took a golden earring of half a shekel weight, and two bracelets for her hands of ten shekels weight of gold, and said,

15. “Whose daughter are you? I must speak to them. I must also move in for the night.”

16. And she said unto him, “I am the daughter of Bethuel the son of Milcah, which she bare unto Nahor,

17. and we have plenty of room for you to stay in.”

18. The servant praised the Lord, even though God hadn’t really done anything.

19. And Rebekah went to her house, and told her family what had happened.

20. And Rebekah had a brother, and his name was Laban: and Laban ran out unto the man, he said,

21. “Come in, even though I have no evidence that you are blessed by the Lord I will mindlessly assume that you are telling the truth.

22. So the servant ungirdled his camels and joined the family.

23. He said, “I will not eat until I have told you why I am here,

24. I am the servant of Abraham,

25. And the Lord hath blessed my master greatly; and he is become great: and he has given him flocks, and herds, and silver, and gold, and menservants, and maidservants, and camels, and asses. And donkeys too.

26. And he told me to come out here and look for a wife for his son.”

27. And after the servant had told his LONG story the family said,

28. “Okay then, without any say from our daughter, we say that you can take her to be the wife of Abraham’s son.”

29. And so they set off, and soon enough they had returned to the land of the Caananites,

30. and Rebekah became Isaac’s wife.

The New Bible homepage can be found here.

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