As I mentioned in the last New Bible post, I’ll be skipping Genesis 5 because it is just a genealogy, so I’ll go straight to chapter 6.
1. As we learnt from Genesis 4, humans quickly multiplied.
2. The sons of God took the daughters of men as their wives.
3. And the Lord said, “You guys won’t live forever, you’ll only reach 120. But I can break my own rule no problem ‘cause I’m GOD!”
4. There were giants in those days, but nobody knows where they came from.
5. And God saw the wickedness of man, and somehow every man, woman and child was corrupted.
6. God was unhappy at what had happened. “Why did I make these guys?” He said.
7. “I had better kill them all” The Lord decided.
8. But there was only one guy in the middle of the desert who wasn’t evil.
9. And that man was Noah.
10. Noah had three sons, Shem, Ham, and Japheth.
11. The earth itself was corrupt, and evil before God.
12. God filled up his giant watering can and prepared to flood the earth.
13. And God said unto Noah, “Hey you! Yes, you! Build me a giant boat. I’m gonna flood the planet!”
14. “But why me?” Noah replied
15. And God said unto Noah, “Because I told you to, stupid. Build the boat three-hundred cubits long, fifty cubits wide and thirty cubits tall,
16. And with only one, little window.”
17. And God said “Hurry up, I’m not getting any younger over here.”
18. “Take yourself and your family into the Ark,
19. And two of every animal, every 16-30 million of them.
20. They shall go by their kinds,
21. And take as much food as physically possible, God gets hungry too you know.” God said
22. And Noah did as the Lord commanded, and it was so.
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